The Power of Questions

Questions direct our focus. Our focus directs our emotions.

Take a moment to think about all of the questions you ask yourself each and everyday. 

What's for breakfast?

Why is there so much traffic? 

When is it time to go home?

Why am I not good enough?

Why do I have to work out?

Who cares?

You get the idea. 

What you may not realize is that we ask ourselves hundreds of questions each day, and whether or not we consciously answer each question, the questions are being answered.

Questions force our mind to search for answers. It's simply our mind doing it's job, functioning as it's meant to. The quality of the questions we ask, directly affects the quality of the mental state we live in.

Knowing this, we can acknowledge that we are somewhat in control of the things our mind focuses on, right? 

Start asking yourself some empowering questions. Chose to focus on things that will give you strength, happiness, hope, joy, gratitude. 

What was great about today?

What am I grateful for?

What am I excited about this week?

Make it even more fun by reconnecting with the little kid inside of you, and ask yourself one goofy question each day.

If I could do ANYTHING, what would I do?

If I could be any animal what would I be? Why?

What would my superhero name be? 

Can you see how these questions can spark creativity, laughter, and light heartedness? Something we could really benefit from right after a stressful meeting or while stuck in rush hour traffic.

It's all about making little adjustments and being aware of the power of questions and focus. It could be the difference between a great day, and a rough day. What would you chose?

For those in business and leadership roles, the questions you ask your clients, employees, and customers also help to direct their focus. 

How can we give our guests a great experience?

What was great about that presentation?

What do you like about the product?

Something to think about...

The Truth about Laughter

Did you know....

Laughter strengthens the body's ability to fight disease.

Laughter releases endorphins.

Laughter reduces stress.

Laughter anchors positive experiences.

Laughter can lower blood pressure.

Laughter releases tension.

Laughing 100 times a day can provide the same benefits as rowing for 10 minutes. 

Laughter causes you to focus on the great things in life.

Laughter can break you out of a funk.

Laughter is infectious, pass it on.

Laughter sounds the same across all cultures.

Something to think about...

Is it time to give yourself permission to laugh today? 

Is it time to let lose and be a kid again?

 

Getting What You Want in Times of Adversity

There are some trends in our current global economic state, trends that not only effect “grown ups” but also young people and teens. Rates of unemployment are up and yet cost of living seems to keep increasing. Opportunities to pursue higher education are made more difficult with less funding and scholarships available. These can all seem rather discouraging when you’ve got a clear vision for what you want to have in life.

I have a few tips to help you work through these challenges and stay on course towards the things you want in life, whether it’s going to university, getting a job or living independently.

CLARITY: Having a vision and having goals is a vital first step in this process of overcoming adversity. Having clarity in your vision and goals is what will set you apart from every other person that simply says “I want a job.” It’s about knowing exactly what you want, for example, having that laser focus on what universities you want to attend and what degrees you want to pursue.  Clarity causes a ripple effect of success. Clarity creates certainty. Once you know exactly what you want, you are Certain you will make it happen, it has become a MUST. Once you have that certainty that you can make it happen, you gain Confidence to move forward and take a proactive step in your progress.

Clarity --> Certainty --> Confidence

What can you do today to move yourself closer to being accepted into that university or towards saving up more money to pay for your courses? There is always a way, it’s about living In Action, rather than in Reaction.

ACTION: Once you’ve gotten that amazing vision and certainty that it will happen and the confidence to make it happen, it’s time to take Action! Often times people fall victim to the adversities they are faced with. Have you ever heard someone say, “There are no jobs available, I might as well not even apply or look for a job.” That’s simply an excuse to have low standards. And if you are here visiting this website, then you are not a low standard kind of person! 

If you want a job, no matter how bad the economy is, you must take action. Set mini-goals to get you to that ultimate outcome. How many places will you apply to this weekend? How will you set yourself apart from the other applicants? Will you seek a mentor to help you with interviews and your resume? Will you start networking with the people you know to see what opportunities are available? These are all steps that you can take that most people won’t. If you have the clarity about what you want, you will stop at nothing to make it a reality. 

COMMITMENT: When things aren’t handed to us, but instead demand hard work, we are tested on how much we really want to achieve something. This is when you are called upon to be committed to your vision. Things may not always come easy, things may take time and there may be situations of rejection. But what sets you apart from other people who are seeking opportunities is your level of commitment. It’s about growth and movement, not stagnancy. You will continue to try, you will continue to act, you will continue to believe. If you are committed to getting into that top university, you will do what it takes to make it happen. Commitment is what sets that people with clarity apart from those with doubt. Which path do you want to be on? The one headed somewhere you want to go, or the one headed nowhere in particular?

In the end, when you have a vision, a really exciting vision, you will stop at nothing to make it happen.  Step up and Stand out! 

How will you be the shining star? How will you achieve your goals? How will you live your life with the highest standards? 

Present Wisdom for Present Success

Photo Cred: Brittany Scales Studios

We've all seen the question asked before, "What would you tell your teenage self if you could go back in time?" I've sometimes thought this was a counter productive question, we all know hindsight is 20/20 and I'd hate to ask a question that stirs up regret. However, what I've come to realize is this question also has the power to offer our present selves that same advice, simply in now knowing what would have been best for us in the past. Wouldn't those same things apply today? So I decided to ask some of my friends on Twitter & Facebook to get some insight onto what they would tell their teenage self. Here are some of those responses:

"To TRY. Failure isn't as horrible as I made it to be, it shouldn't have prevented me from trying new things."

"Be yourself."

"You will make mistakes, and you will get into trouble, but you will also get past them and learn from them."

"You deserve the best, quit sabotaging yourself."

"Life is only as hard as you imagine it to be."

"Be true to what you feel, believe and you'll be just fine."

"The exact same thing my parents told me."

"Don't be shy of girls. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Don't wait to pursue your dreams and don't let anyone or anything get in the way of them.. EVER."

I made sure not to specify, "what advice would you give yourself," instead I left it broad and asked what they would tell themselves, and even still the majority of replies were advice, or even the wisdom gained over time. Why is this? Because it all comes down to the fact that our lives are evolving, always. We are always learning new things, growing, and adapting to life's changes. Next week we will probably have advice we can offer this week's self, something really valuable that we learned in the past seven days that would have benefited us had we been aware of it then. 

It's made me realize that all we've got to do is be aware. Aware of all of the lessons in our life, each and every day. Through the toughest moments, the boring moments, the simple moments, there are things we can appreciate and embrace that will allow us to move into even better moments. 

So what would YOU tell your teenage self? Why not tell your present self those things?  

Coaching Session: Overcoming Shyness

For those who feel like their shy tendencies are holding them back in life, or are keeping them from moving towards their goals, this article will help you to gain an understanding and an awareness that will allow you to make some adjustments in your life to best suit you on the journey ahead.

First, we must understand where shyness originates.

Why am I feeling shy?

Though it is not the same for everyone, there is an overlying pattern that may help to explain shyness. Those who are experiencing shyness – and I say “experiencing shyness” rather than those who ARE shy because it is simply an emotional state. You are not stuck with it, it isn't who you are. It is not like saying, “you are tall.” You are simply feeling shy – are either uncertain about themselves or uncertain about how others perceive them.

If you can relate to that sort of a feeling in certain situations, then there may have been an experience in your past, whether rejection or judgment, that has pushed you in the direction of feeling shy in similar situations. What is important is not what specifically caused you to live in a state of shyness, rather, what is important is finding tools which will give you the freedom to choose not to feel shy.

What can I do about it?

When I coach people on this situation, I recommend that they get a notebook and take a few minutes of personal time to be honest with themselves and to answer the following questions:

-Who am I?

-What do I believe? What do I stand for?

-What am I great at? What am I proud of?

-What is important to me?

Answering these questions will help you to develop an understanding of your personal identity, as well as acknowledging who YOU are and the greatness you hold inside.

The next part will depend on how bad you want to make these changes in your life. Next, you must actively own everything you've just answered above. This means to embody it and to live it. It's all about walking the talk. Once you are certain about who YOU are, it makes it a whole lot easier to live as that person each and everyday.

And lastly, remember that your self-perception is much more important and much more powerful than the perception others have of you.  Believe it or not, you emanate exactly what you are feeling about yourself. If you go into a situation feeling self-conscious or insecure, others will see that. If you go into a situation feeling confident and excited, they too will see that. Treat yourself with the utmost respect and give yourself every opportunity simply by being certain and proud of who you are.

Change takes risk, that means living outside of your comfort zone. It may be difficult at first, but soon it will become natural. Trust yourself, believe in yourself, and shine!

Real People, Real Advice: Anna Raghavan Part 2

Here we go for Part 2 of our Real People, Real Advice Interview with Anna Raghavan. You can revisit Part 1 of this interview and all of the valuable messages shared through Anna’s life and experiences by clicking here.

Get Real: Where do you find your strength in hard times?

Anna Raghavan: When I am going through a tough time, I find strength from doing something productive. Even if it’s just going to the gym, taking photographs, or cleaning my room. It’s important for me to channel my energy into something positive so that I don’t get caught up in a cycle of negative feelings.

The easiest thing for us to do when times are tough, is to usually wallow in it and become helpless. The most empowering thing is to take action and fight against that urge to spiral into negativity. What can you do when you are having a difficult time to snap you out of it?

GR: What have been your keys to success?

AR: Hard work and persistence. It is so easy to figure out what you want, acting on it is a totally different story.

In a day and age when everyone is competing and fighting for jobs, to succeed, to be the best, what will set you apart from the crowd? Most people stop in the face of adversity, those who persist and press on are the ones who reach the finish line. Remember, sometimes the things we want most might take the hardest of work, but that is exactly what makes it so rewarding. How bad do you want it?

And lastly, some advice that Anna would like to share:

AR: Dream big and manifest your goals until they become a reality. If you have a goal or an idea, plan it out and take the appropriate steps to get where you want to be.

It’s also important to surround yourself with the right people. Make sure that you are around positive people who encourage you to fulfill your dreams because it takes the efforts of many to achieve something big!

Lastly, make sure that you have fun on a frequent basis. I make sure to plan out a fun activity every week so that I have something to look forward to after a long week of work. Nobody wants to look back on their lives and wish they had more fun!

Thank you to Anna for the time you took out to contribute to Get Real’s Real People, Real Advice series! To our readers, if you would like to be interviewed or if you know someone who would have valuable advice to share, please email us at heygetreal@hotmail.com .

Real People, Real Advice: Anna Raghavan Part 1

I had the pleasure to interview an incredible young leader, Anna Raghavan, who at the age of 25 already has an immense amount of wisdom and insight on getting the most out of life. As you’ll see by the following questions, she’s been able to identify a number of things that are absolutely key to growing and experiencing life as we are meant to, things you too can relate to and acknowledge as having had an impact on your journey.

Get Real: What has been one of your greatest challenges?

Anna Raghavan: It took a while for me to adapt to working in a new industry, being out of school, and being thrown into a situation while having to absorb this new environment and new information. There was a lot of trial and error involved and I had many triumphs as well as a couple of moments I wish I could take back. Overall, it was a good learning experience and I am very proud of myself.

With the economy the way it is, and for recent college graduates, this is a harsh reality. Embarking on a new chapter of your life can be scary and trying, but in the end this experience will help to shape you into the person you need to be to succeed. We grow most when we are uncomfortable.

GR: How did you move forward from these challenges?

AR: I learned to take in all of the feedback that I could get. Whether it was learning from a friend’s similar experience, or hearing what my manager had to say about a project I completed, I made sure to take the constructive points as well as the positive points because that is what helps me set the bar higher.

We only work as hard as we need to in order to meet our own standards. The higher your expectations of yourself, the more you will work for results and the more you will care about what you are doing. There are no standards more important than those we have for ourselves. That’s something to reflect on.

GR: What have been some of your greatest experiences?

AR: Leaving my parent’s house at the age of 17 and moving six hours away to college. The experience of being on my own, surrounded by a community of peers, was incredible and it helped to gain a sense of identity and independence. Being on my own for the first time in my life made me more outgoing and open minded to different people, values, and ideas. I am so appreciative of that time in my life and I feel very fortunate to have had that experience because without it, I would not be where I am today.

For a lot of our younger readers, take this as a testimonial to the benefits of taking those risks and making those difficult decisions you are going to be facing in your life. Sometimes the difficult decision is the one that will allow you to grow the most.

GR: What has the biggest impact on your day-to-day life; Work, Friends & Family, Media?

AR: Definitely the media! You wouldn’t be reading this if it weren’t for media. One of the first things I do every morning is check my email and facebook account, keeping in touch with friends and family all over the world. I’m also able to get relatively current information on world news and politics without having to buy a newspaper because everything is basically in an online format.

GR: How important is a supportive peer group in achieving your goals?

AR: The support of your peers is one of the most essential aspects of achieving your goals. Even though you family may have your back, it’s vital that your peers are supportive because they are the one that truly understand what you are going through from a social perspective. For them to have a positive attitude and support your ideas and goals is the greatest thing ever! If anyone doesn’t support your goals, it is probably best to keep a safe distance from them.

Connectivity, whether through the internet or in person, is incredibly valuable when it comes to being on a journey towards or goal, through a struggle, or in success. We need our family and friends to share in the great moments and to support in the difficult ones. You are who you surround yourself with. Look around, do the people you connect with regularly push you to be greater, lift your energy, and inspire you? Or do they drain your energy, discourage you, and make you feel unimportant?

GR: Who is your greatest role model?

AR: My greatest role model is my mom. Although we don’t always see eye to eye, she has provided me with a good example of how women can do it all. When I was a child, she worked during the day and would go to school at night so that she could get a better job in this country. Even with her busy schedule, she was able to raise two happy and healthy children. She now works as an accountant for a well-respected organization and hopes to go back to school again. She has taught me, it’s never too late to follow your dreams.

Remember, we are mirrors. The great things we see in others are things we have inside of ourselves. Who are your role models? What have they taught you? Finding someone to model or learn from will help to support you throughout life and will give you a reference for insight when things get foggy. And let us all remember, it is never too late to follow your dreams!

Part 2 of this interview will be released later this week when we ask Anna what her keys to success are and where she finds her strength in difficult times. Plus, a bonus message from Anna, her own advice from her experiences in the past few years. Check back soon and comment to let her know what you’ve learned so far.

8 Reasons Why You Are Bored

1. YOU ARE BORING: Okay so we've all heard that.."If you're bored, it's because you're boring." It's a harsh reality and that's why I wanted to get it over with on #1. Chose not to be boring and believe it or not, you won't be bored. Plain and simple. 

Action: Snap out of it and gain some respect for yourself, your time, and your life.

2. FEAR & COMFORT: You may be afraid to take control of your own life so you allow life to happen as it may. You are afraid to be bold, to step outside of your comfort zone and do something...anything! It's always easier to let life happen to you rather than shaping your life yourself. 

Action: Take charge and stare fear in the face. Stepping outside your comfort zone is one of the most rewarding experiences. Do something that scares you.

3. THINKING SMALL: You set your sights too low, too simple, too easy. Try dreaming big, magical, amazing. Just thinking about those dreams will keep you from being bored. All of the possibilities, adventures, excitement that awaits you will spring new energy into your life. 

Action: Dream big, and do it now!

4. LIMITING BELIEFS: This goes hand in hand with #3. You have beliefs that keep you from dreaming big. Have you ever said, "I can't" or "I don't have enough time," "I'm too broke," "I'm not good enough," or "I don't deserve it." Those are beliefs that LIMIT your experience in life. It's time to let go of those and realize they are completely false. Doing something fun or interesting does not have to take up a lot of time, it doesn't have to cost anything, and you absolutely deserve to be happy and to enjoy every last moment of your life. 

Action: Write down all the reasons you are "stuck" being bored. Now take a marker, cross them all out so you can't read them anymore and then write all of the things you could do to not be bored.

5. PEER GROUP: If the people you surround yourself with are "boring" then you will likely fall into those same patterns and start feeling bored. We are who we surround ourselves with. Surround yourself with people who live life, really live it. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, who are creative and resourceful and can find the fun in anything. 

Action: Get some new friends or lead by example. Step up and be the one to initiate. 

6. BLIND TO GRATITUDE: When we live in a place of gratitude, we subconsciously keep ourselves from disempowering emotions like boredom or stress or upset. Being grateful for exactly what is present in your life will turn your boredom into calm and peace. Those boring days with nothing to do become relaxing days to just enjoy yourself without having to do anything. It gives you a whole new perspective.

Action: Keep a gratitude journal. Everyday write just 5 things you are grateful for. Small, big, anything. You will train yourself to be able to see the awesome things in life more easily.

7. DISCREPANCY BETWEEN DESIRE AND REALITY: We always feel emotional pain when what we want and what we have are not the same. When this happens, you have a few options. 1. Reconnect with #6 and be grateful for what IS or 2. Take some action towards getting what you want. It's not worth talking and whining and groaning about what is wrong, quit wasting time and start creating the life you want. 

Action: Spend some time writing down your goals. Be specific. Then write down your plan of action to make them a reality. 

8. STAGNANCY: This is when you have no growth or change. When you feel you are moving in one, certain, constant straight line with no ups or downs. 

Action: Make some changes, learn something new, alter your environment, meet new people.

Alexandra Cooper

Youth Coach & Author of "So What?!"

A Plethora of Boredom Killing Ideas:

Go for a hike

Practice Origami

Write a Poem

Learn about something new (Google, hello!)

Read a new book

Re-arrange your furniture

Play a board game

Go for a walk through your neighborhood

Take a relaxing bath

Smile at a stranger

Visit a museum

Bake or Cook something new (and then eat it)

Paint your nails a new color

Learn a new language

Call up an old friend or family member

Watch a movie

Volunteer with a local organization

Go to the park and play

Go on Pinterest

Exercise

Create a Dream Board

Go to the zoo

Visit some local landmarks

Get a job

Clean and Organize

Try a new restaurant

Play frisbee

Paint some pottery

Garden

Take pictures

Play Video Games

Take a day trip

Go to local events

Take a class

Ride a bike 

Learn to play an instrument

Dance

...

Making Your Own Decisions: Peer Pressure

Today I’ll give you a little bit of insight on Peer Pressure.

Times can be difficult when we are young adults. There are so many people asking so many things from us and we want to make everyone happy. There are handfuls of external influences that are having an impact on our lives and we can’t juggle them all at once.

Something we can all relate to is pressure from our groups of friends and peers. It’s hard to speak up and say no to these people  because not only do we want to feel included, but we also don’t want to be judged.

An important thing to remember is that no matter who influences your decisions, it is YOU that has to deal with the consequences and effects. The easiest way to take off some of the pressure and stress is to really understand WHO YOU ARE and WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU.

Only you can answer these questions.

Once you have some clarity on this you will be able to find the strength to stick up for yourself and make your own decisions throughout life. Simply put, if there is a question about doing something that isn’t who you are or is counterproductive to the things that are important to you, then the decision is clear. It will no longer be about being accepted and liked because you’ve already discovered that self respect and understanding.

I challenge you to step up as an individual and as a leader to take charge of your life.

Life is made up of choices, don’t let any one else choose for you!

How will you take action on making positive decisions that will benefit your life?

Alexandra Cooper

Youth Coach & Author of "So What?!"

Empowerment instead of Anger

Have you ever had someone do or say something to you that made you so angry?

Something that you thought was irresponsible, inconsiderate, unnecessary or just mean?

I think everybody will have an experience in their life that they can link this with. What most people do next is focus on that anger and frustration. And because what they focus on becomes their reality, they end up creating a very negative idea of the other person keeping them from looking at the situation from a higher point of view.

Often they’ll start asking rhetorical questions, like,

‘Why would he do that?!’

or

‘What was she thinking?!’

They ask these questions but they don’t answer them. If you can relate to this as I sometimes can, try answering those questions.
Why?

Because people do the best with what they know at that specific time.

If they knew better, they’d do better.

The trick is to put our own negative emotions to the side for a minute and look at the situation through someone else’s perspective and to understand why they did what they did. There might very well be an understandable explanation. There is always a reason for people’s actions.

What’s the point in wasting all of our energy in anger, frustration or even sadness?

How does that benefit us? Does it make us happy?

Harry Singha taught me that “Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Instead, we should use our energy to find a solution. Go and talk to that person. Try to not let ourselves get carried away by our negative emotions and calmly explain to them how we felt and that we want to understand their perspective as well.

My mum inspired me one morning by saying,“Everyone sees the world through their own experiences. If you look at it differently, it is different.”

It’s like looking through a different pair of sunglasses. Just try not to pick the ones with dirt and scratches on the glass.

What I want to share with you is this:

Focus on people that empower you. Then you can be an empowerment to someone else, because what you focus on becomes your reality.

With thanks to Marlon Smith and Kathy Buckley for teaching me this incredible stuff and love to Alexandra DiRuscio Cooper for giving me this opportunity to share it with you!

Elise Droste

Superstar Leader