The Power of Questions

Questions direct our focus. Our focus directs our emotions.

Take a moment to think about all of the questions you ask yourself each and everyday. 

What's for breakfast?

Why is there so much traffic? 

When is it time to go home?

Why am I not good enough?

Why do I have to work out?

Who cares?

You get the idea. 

What you may not realize is that we ask ourselves hundreds of questions each day, and whether or not we consciously answer each question, the questions are being answered.

Questions force our mind to search for answers. It's simply our mind doing it's job, functioning as it's meant to. The quality of the questions we ask, directly affects the quality of the mental state we live in.

Knowing this, we can acknowledge that we are somewhat in control of the things our mind focuses on, right? 

Start asking yourself some empowering questions. Chose to focus on things that will give you strength, happiness, hope, joy, gratitude. 

What was great about today?

What am I grateful for?

What am I excited about this week?

Make it even more fun by reconnecting with the little kid inside of you, and ask yourself one goofy question each day.

If I could do ANYTHING, what would I do?

If I could be any animal what would I be? Why?

What would my superhero name be? 

Can you see how these questions can spark creativity, laughter, and light heartedness? Something we could really benefit from right after a stressful meeting or while stuck in rush hour traffic.

It's all about making little adjustments and being aware of the power of questions and focus. It could be the difference between a great day, and a rough day. What would you chose?

For those in business and leadership roles, the questions you ask your clients, employees, and customers also help to direct their focus. 

How can we give our guests a great experience?

What was great about that presentation?

What do you like about the product?

Something to think about...

Getting What You Want in Times of Adversity

There are some trends in our current global economic state, trends that not only effect “grown ups” but also young people and teens. Rates of unemployment are up and yet cost of living seems to keep increasing. Opportunities to pursue higher education are made more difficult with less funding and scholarships available. These can all seem rather discouraging when you’ve got a clear vision for what you want to have in life.

I have a few tips to help you work through these challenges and stay on course towards the things you want in life, whether it’s going to university, getting a job or living independently.

CLARITY: Having a vision and having goals is a vital first step in this process of overcoming adversity. Having clarity in your vision and goals is what will set you apart from every other person that simply says “I want a job.” It’s about knowing exactly what you want, for example, having that laser focus on what universities you want to attend and what degrees you want to pursue.  Clarity causes a ripple effect of success. Clarity creates certainty. Once you know exactly what you want, you are Certain you will make it happen, it has become a MUST. Once you have that certainty that you can make it happen, you gain Confidence to move forward and take a proactive step in your progress.

Clarity --> Certainty --> Confidence

What can you do today to move yourself closer to being accepted into that university or towards saving up more money to pay for your courses? There is always a way, it’s about living In Action, rather than in Reaction.

ACTION: Once you’ve gotten that amazing vision and certainty that it will happen and the confidence to make it happen, it’s time to take Action! Often times people fall victim to the adversities they are faced with. Have you ever heard someone say, “There are no jobs available, I might as well not even apply or look for a job.” That’s simply an excuse to have low standards. And if you are here visiting this website, then you are not a low standard kind of person! 

If you want a job, no matter how bad the economy is, you must take action. Set mini-goals to get you to that ultimate outcome. How many places will you apply to this weekend? How will you set yourself apart from the other applicants? Will you seek a mentor to help you with interviews and your resume? Will you start networking with the people you know to see what opportunities are available? These are all steps that you can take that most people won’t. If you have the clarity about what you want, you will stop at nothing to make it a reality. 

COMMITMENT: When things aren’t handed to us, but instead demand hard work, we are tested on how much we really want to achieve something. This is when you are called upon to be committed to your vision. Things may not always come easy, things may take time and there may be situations of rejection. But what sets you apart from other people who are seeking opportunities is your level of commitment. It’s about growth and movement, not stagnancy. You will continue to try, you will continue to act, you will continue to believe. If you are committed to getting into that top university, you will do what it takes to make it happen. Commitment is what sets that people with clarity apart from those with doubt. Which path do you want to be on? The one headed somewhere you want to go, or the one headed nowhere in particular?

In the end, when you have a vision, a really exciting vision, you will stop at nothing to make it happen.  Step up and Stand out! 

How will you be the shining star? How will you achieve your goals? How will you live your life with the highest standards? 

Authenticity vs. Selfishness

How the Quest for Authenticity Can Get in the Way

Authenticity is a conundrum. It’s a cool new fad, and yet something completely necessary to living a happy and fulfilled life. But it can backfire. I suppose anything not completely understood, when used in the wrong way can backfire on us eventually. 

To best understand how it most commonly backfires, let me paint you a picture. Or rather, let’s repaint a picture you probably already have, as every single one of us has encountered this person at some point. You walk into the doctor’s office, or the coffee shop, or the dry cleaner, and the person there to greet you is cold, stiff, and seemingly rude or uncaring. They don’t smile at you, and barely acknowledge you enough to give you the service you need. And all of a sudden, if you’re the kind of person that needs connection, you no longer want to see the doctor, or drink that cup of coffee, or go back to that dry cleaner again. I’ve worked with many business owners who become frustrated by having an employee with this demeanor, but don’t know what to do as they fear asking the employee to become inauthentic by asking them to smile or connect with the customers.

But why isn’t asking someone to open up a little not the same thing as asking them to leave their authentic selves behind? Because the common misconception about authenticity is that it means grabbing hold of everything you know yourself to be, and expressing it at the mercy of others and their needs. Insert loud angry buzzing sound here, because that’s where people go wrong! 

Authenticity does mean learning about yourself, your needs, your desires, and what fulfills you - but it also means opening your heart enough to be able to be that person while also meeting others where they’re at. To be truly successful at living an authentic life, we must become just as aware of others and their needs from us, as we are self-aware. The self-awareness is still of primary importance, the the awareness of others is like the glue that holds our authenticity together. Without it, it’s just a hollow, self-absorbed mess.

What does this look like in our example of the person greeting you at the front desk or the doctors office or coffee shop counter? It doesn’t look like turning the person into an overly joyful smiley-happy shining elf of joy. It simply looks like them deciding to open their heart just enough so that they can connect with others. It may not even involve smiling - just letting down their wall just enough so that they can still be true to themselves, while also providing their customers and community with the connection they crave.

So the next time you become aware of rubbing someone the wrong way, ask yourself where the line between your authenticity and their needs lies, and consider adding their needs into your authenticity when interacting with them. How cool would it be to live in a world where we get to be ourselves and make others happy no matter the relationship or scenario?

Jordanna Eyre is a Self-Love Coach and founder of  www.YouAreWhole.com 

Real People, Real Advice: Anna Raghavan Part 2

Here we go for Part 2 of our Real People, Real Advice Interview with Anna Raghavan. You can revisit Part 1 of this interview and all of the valuable messages shared through Anna’s life and experiences by clicking here.

Get Real: Where do you find your strength in hard times?

Anna Raghavan: When I am going through a tough time, I find strength from doing something productive. Even if it’s just going to the gym, taking photographs, or cleaning my room. It’s important for me to channel my energy into something positive so that I don’t get caught up in a cycle of negative feelings.

The easiest thing for us to do when times are tough, is to usually wallow in it and become helpless. The most empowering thing is to take action and fight against that urge to spiral into negativity. What can you do when you are having a difficult time to snap you out of it?

GR: What have been your keys to success?

AR: Hard work and persistence. It is so easy to figure out what you want, acting on it is a totally different story.

In a day and age when everyone is competing and fighting for jobs, to succeed, to be the best, what will set you apart from the crowd? Most people stop in the face of adversity, those who persist and press on are the ones who reach the finish line. Remember, sometimes the things we want most might take the hardest of work, but that is exactly what makes it so rewarding. How bad do you want it?

And lastly, some advice that Anna would like to share:

AR: Dream big and manifest your goals until they become a reality. If you have a goal or an idea, plan it out and take the appropriate steps to get where you want to be.

It’s also important to surround yourself with the right people. Make sure that you are around positive people who encourage you to fulfill your dreams because it takes the efforts of many to achieve something big!

Lastly, make sure that you have fun on a frequent basis. I make sure to plan out a fun activity every week so that I have something to look forward to after a long week of work. Nobody wants to look back on their lives and wish they had more fun!

Thank you to Anna for the time you took out to contribute to Get Real’s Real People, Real Advice series! To our readers, if you would like to be interviewed or if you know someone who would have valuable advice to share, please email us at heygetreal@hotmail.com .

Real People, Real Advice: Anna Raghavan Part 1

I had the pleasure to interview an incredible young leader, Anna Raghavan, who at the age of 25 already has an immense amount of wisdom and insight on getting the most out of life. As you’ll see by the following questions, she’s been able to identify a number of things that are absolutely key to growing and experiencing life as we are meant to, things you too can relate to and acknowledge as having had an impact on your journey.

Get Real: What has been one of your greatest challenges?

Anna Raghavan: It took a while for me to adapt to working in a new industry, being out of school, and being thrown into a situation while having to absorb this new environment and new information. There was a lot of trial and error involved and I had many triumphs as well as a couple of moments I wish I could take back. Overall, it was a good learning experience and I am very proud of myself.

With the economy the way it is, and for recent college graduates, this is a harsh reality. Embarking on a new chapter of your life can be scary and trying, but in the end this experience will help to shape you into the person you need to be to succeed. We grow most when we are uncomfortable.

GR: How did you move forward from these challenges?

AR: I learned to take in all of the feedback that I could get. Whether it was learning from a friend’s similar experience, or hearing what my manager had to say about a project I completed, I made sure to take the constructive points as well as the positive points because that is what helps me set the bar higher.

We only work as hard as we need to in order to meet our own standards. The higher your expectations of yourself, the more you will work for results and the more you will care about what you are doing. There are no standards more important than those we have for ourselves. That’s something to reflect on.

GR: What have been some of your greatest experiences?

AR: Leaving my parent’s house at the age of 17 and moving six hours away to college. The experience of being on my own, surrounded by a community of peers, was incredible and it helped to gain a sense of identity and independence. Being on my own for the first time in my life made me more outgoing and open minded to different people, values, and ideas. I am so appreciative of that time in my life and I feel very fortunate to have had that experience because without it, I would not be where I am today.

For a lot of our younger readers, take this as a testimonial to the benefits of taking those risks and making those difficult decisions you are going to be facing in your life. Sometimes the difficult decision is the one that will allow you to grow the most.

GR: What has the biggest impact on your day-to-day life; Work, Friends & Family, Media?

AR: Definitely the media! You wouldn’t be reading this if it weren’t for media. One of the first things I do every morning is check my email and facebook account, keeping in touch with friends and family all over the world. I’m also able to get relatively current information on world news and politics without having to buy a newspaper because everything is basically in an online format.

GR: How important is a supportive peer group in achieving your goals?

AR: The support of your peers is one of the most essential aspects of achieving your goals. Even though you family may have your back, it’s vital that your peers are supportive because they are the one that truly understand what you are going through from a social perspective. For them to have a positive attitude and support your ideas and goals is the greatest thing ever! If anyone doesn’t support your goals, it is probably best to keep a safe distance from them.

Connectivity, whether through the internet or in person, is incredibly valuable when it comes to being on a journey towards or goal, through a struggle, or in success. We need our family and friends to share in the great moments and to support in the difficult ones. You are who you surround yourself with. Look around, do the people you connect with regularly push you to be greater, lift your energy, and inspire you? Or do they drain your energy, discourage you, and make you feel unimportant?

GR: Who is your greatest role model?

AR: My greatest role model is my mom. Although we don’t always see eye to eye, she has provided me with a good example of how women can do it all. When I was a child, she worked during the day and would go to school at night so that she could get a better job in this country. Even with her busy schedule, she was able to raise two happy and healthy children. She now works as an accountant for a well-respected organization and hopes to go back to school again. She has taught me, it’s never too late to follow your dreams.

Remember, we are mirrors. The great things we see in others are things we have inside of ourselves. Who are your role models? What have they taught you? Finding someone to model or learn from will help to support you throughout life and will give you a reference for insight when things get foggy. And let us all remember, it is never too late to follow your dreams!

Part 2 of this interview will be released later this week when we ask Anna what her keys to success are and where she finds her strength in difficult times. Plus, a bonus message from Anna, her own advice from her experiences in the past few years. Check back soon and comment to let her know what you’ve learned so far.

Add that Zing to your Business

My husband and I were recently in Ann Arbor, Michigan. There is this great deli that we always have to visit, and based on the hour plus wait just to get inside, apparently it is a place that everyone needs to visit while they are there. You might think, an hour long wait to get inside? Something must be WRONG! Actually, it is just that GOOD, that people are willing to wait. And it’s no one thing that keeps people coming back, ordering from across the country, waiting in the heat, the rain, the snow (true story).

Zingerman’s Deli in Ann Arbor is an incredibly successful business, and on our most recent trip, as I waited in line, I realized so many amazing things that it does to create that success, and they are things that can be translated into any business model.

Here are a few of the essential, key things to having a thriving business with raving fans:

1. Add value – for FREE! Yep that’s right, they give stuff away. They offer samples, and lots of them. They have super cool staff walking through the line offering you pieces of cheese, meats and breads from their deli. Then again right before it’s your turn to go inside they have a table of samples; cured ham, potato salad, chicken pasta. Once you head inside the deli, you’ve got more samples of fresh cheese and meat on your left and cinnamon pecan bread with apple butter spread on your right. So this is pretty cool for someone who is waiting in line and getting hungry, right? Yes! But the neat thing is, it is also pretty cool for business because most of the time people end up buying something they hadn’t considered purchasing before they sampled it. They are keeping customers happy and they are increasing sales, all with one simple distinction, add value for free! Think samples, think trial offers, think free products.

2. A Happy Staff = A Happy Customer. Zingerman’s staff is awesome, which is very simply put. They love what they do and you see it in the most simple of actions. They chat with people in line, they get to know everyone and make it feel like a little deli line community. We had a guy who chatted with us and got to know us in a span of two minutes, we saw him a few minutes later and he introduced us to another staff member, repeating everything we had told him. He seriously listened, and it was really authentic and cool. “These are the Coopers, they are from LA visiting for the game and thinking of renting a place out here in Ann Arbor. This is her fifth trip here and he went to UM.” Who remembers all of that? Apparently a guy who spends all day connecting – really connecting – with the guests at Zingerman’s. The staff has fun with what they do, they work well together, they are always looking out for the customers, finding ways to make it as enjoyable as possible and thanking everyone for waiting so long.

3. Knowing is Growing. Remember I told you how the staff gave out samples? They also know everything about the food here. They will give you a piece of cheese, tell you where it was made, how it was made, what it’s made of, how long it’s existed, and how old this exact piece of cheese is. Now that’s a piece of cheese I want to eat. They aren’t just working a job, they are living their job. They know that positioning themselves as experts will grow their business. It’s much like the story  of Gary Vaynerchuck (of wine library tv) who, from a young age, became an expert in wine. He learned everything he could about the different types of wines, he wouldn’t recommend a wine without knowing everything about it and feeling confident in his recommendation. He became the ultimate wine expert, people came to him with questions, trusted his knowledge and because of that, his business grew exponentially. Know your product, know your service, know your clients and you will grow your business. People want answers and advice. Especially when it comes to food and drink, people don’t want to have to think.

4. Quality is King. In the end, you have got to have quality. Zingerman’s food is amazing, fresh and unique. That along with all of the other factors is why we are willing to wait an hour in line just to order, and another hour to get our food, which we then inhale in a matter of 10 minutes because it is just that good! There is something about their food that sets them apart. It is quality, it tastes great and they make every sandwich, every salad, every jalapeno pickled peach (seriously!) with the same effort as the last. There was a staff member that told us a group of lawyers in Los Angeles have a monthly meeting for 25 people and they order Zingerman’s reuben sandwhiches all the way from Michigan! Zingerman’s ships them all of the makings and sides and goodies from Michigan to Los Angeles. The consumer has chosen this option instead of going to one of a hundred deli’s in Southern California.

Zingerman’s is a staple in Ann Arbor, Michigan and a staple in the hearts of anyone who has been there. It’s our tradition to stop by for amazing french toast, pack up breads, cheese and meats for a picnic or have some delicious soup and knish. 

Here is their website and facebook page (with over 31,000 fans—for a deli!)

Zingerman's Facebook

Zingerman's Website

Alexandra Cooper

Youth Coach & Author of "So What?!"